Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Internet List: 10 Greatest Action Films of All Time!!!

I love movies, but I especially love action films. Here is my list of the best action films ever made. A word of warning: this list is by no means set in stone. My feelings change from day to day.

10. Captain America
Captain America was so awesome. Most action films lack the balls to give us a hero who is actually a true hero. There's no grit to Captain America. The character isn't given his powers by prophesy and he has no issues with his father. He's just a nice guy who can kick your ass.

My favorite part was the Red Skull. He looked so cool. Best bad guy of all time!

9. Thor
While Captain America has a shield that he can throw like a boomerang, Thor has a big hammer that does the same thing. Hammers are cooler than shields, thus, Thor is cooler than Captain America.

There's one part where he goes into a pet store and demands a horse. It's hilarious! And Loki is a really good villain.

8. Green Lantern
Somehow the makers of this film knew that green was my favorite color. Of course I was going to love it! Green Lantern's green ring can make any green thing he thinks of. This means he can totally make a green shield like Captain America or a green hammer like Thor and anything else he wants. This automatically makes him better.

And whoa! How about that guy with the big head? What a great villain!

7. X-Men: First Class
This is a pretty good action film about how all the X-Men first got together. There's one part where they try to recruit Wolverine and he tells them "F off!" and it's really awesome. I'm glaaaaad I avoided spoilers for that part!

Each X-Man has their own individual weapon. Many are beyond the scope of Green Lantern's green ring. Green Lantern can't use his ring to read minds, for instance, or bend metal. So this is a slightly better action film.

The villain in this one is Kevin Bacon. Man, I miss Kevin Bacon. And Michael Keaton, too. Where's he been?

6. Iron Man 2
I like the first Iron Man, but this one was bigger and better than the first. For one thing, there are TWO Iron Mans this time. One is silver. There are also two bad guys. One is a Russian, and he has cool dreadlocks and tattoos and metal teeth. My favorite thing is how he really loves his bird. How funny!

And how could you not love Tony Stark? That dude is hilarious! There's one part where he DJs a party and goes pee in his Iron Man suit. So awesome!

5. Hulk

Here we go with the color green again! Be wary. There are actually two Hulk movies out there. One is really boring, but this one is not. Hulk fights another Hulk at the end, and it's everything you could hope for in a Hulk fight. They totally punch each other. Tim Roth is such a great actor! Have you ever seen Reservoir Dogs?

4. Fast Five
This is a good film even though no one has any super powers or cool weapons. Basically, a bunch of people try to rob a guy using only fast cars. And they totally pull it off!

I like this film because it's all about friendship. Literally, every guy in the film is best friends with every other guy in the film. Even Vin Diesel and the Rock end up being best buds, and they start the film as sworn enemies! I've always known The Rock was awesome ever since I saw him host SNL.

3. Rise of the Planet of the Apes
This is a remake/prequel to a movie called Planet of the Apes that came out ten years ago. It's a pretty smart movie because it makes all these sly nods to the movie it's remaking. 

For instance, in the first one, an ape says "Get your stinking paws off me you damn dirty human!" In this one, a human says, "Get your stinking paws off me you damn dirty ape!" It's an inversion of the original line, which makes it harder to catch, but for those of us who know our movie stuff it really makes the film more enjoyable.

2. Spiderman 2
This is almost the greatest film of all time! Peter Parker thinks about not being Spiderman anymore, but can't because Dr. Octopus will kill everyone if he doesn't man-up and become a hero. I like this movie because it's action packed, but also very funny. It's way better than Spiderman 3, which should have been awesome because it had Venom, but was ruined by that stupid Spiderman dances part.

FYI, Spiderman 2 is also the best Spiderman film because it has a cameo by Bruce Campbell. If you don't know who he is, you MUST go watch Evil Dead II right now. Go on, I'll wait.

1. The Dark Knight Rises Trailer
I must have watched this film a hundred times, and it's easily the best action movie ever made, I'm sure. It has Commissioner Gordon all beaten up in a hospital bed. And then you get flashes of Bane, followed by a shot of Bane and Batman about to fight! If you enjoy all the other Batman films like me, you should really give this one a shot.

So that's my list of the best action movies ever. There are many more I could have put in, like Live Free or Die Hard or Rocky IV, but you can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs!

1 comment: