Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Steven Seagal & Friends Pay Tribute to Michael Jackson

Steven Seagal may have put on a few pounds in the last couple years, but his love for Michael Jackson forever remains a core aspect of his mystique. Recently, he and some of his Bollywood pals wrote and recorded this tribute to a fallen hero.

With that, I'll just step aside and let Steven say what we all feel in our heart, but can never quite articulate...

Michele Bachmannn Reviews THE HELP

The Help is a movie about how if you're nice to your maids, they may start a revolution for independence. So don't do that.

A Public Service Announcement from William Bludworth

Dear Folks,

People like to think it's easy being a mortician because all you have to do is fill dead
bodies with anti-decomposing goo. Yeah, that's fair. I couldn't do a job where I had to
listen to people talk all day. But what people don't know is that morticians are savvy to
all of Death's bullshit, and Death's an asshole.

Internet List: 10 Greatest Action Films of All Time!!!

I love movies, but I especially love action films. Here is my list of the best action films ever made. A word of warning: this list is by no means set in stone. My feelings change from day to day.

Trailer Tracks with Sam Strange: MACHINE GUN PREACHER

Movie commercials offer us a great service; they not only show us which upcoming movies look good, but also which upcoming movies look like Hitler Turds (turds that waste no energy being anywhere except directly beneath your nose). In honor of this profound art, which I partake in from time to time, I give you TRAILER TRACKS, a weekly examination of upcoming movie commercials: what they say, what they don't say, and what they say accidentally about the product being sold to you, the excited chump.