Prompted by the truly great HBO series, I decided to read all the Game of Throne books. And boy oh boy, do I love them. Here are my ten favorite things about the series so far...
1. I love the fact that it's actually called A Song of Fire of Ice, but if you call it that everyone will know you're a nerd.
2. I love how truly horrible things happen to good characters, infecting the reader with a deep need for revenge, but by the time a villain gets his/her comeuppance, all the characters who would give a shit are already dead.
3. I love being privy to the deep thoughts and inner yearnings of Hodor. I also love knowing how big his penis is.
4. I love that the series may have zombies and even an alchemic Frankenstein's monster roaming around, but I also can't say for sure because those elements were teased then abandoned over a thousand pages ago.
5. I love how every time I finish a book, I feel my time would have better spent just browsing its wiki.
6. I love how being over a thousand pages long and killing at least one main character has become publishing requirements rather than story requirements.
7. I love when a group of new characters shows up and I can skip the paragraph where we're told their names and singular physical characteristic because I won't remember them and won't need to.
8. I love that this far in, we're still not positive how many total books there will be, and that even with a four-five year headstart the superior HBO series may outpace the novels.
9. I love how every single female character has nipples, and I get to know what all of them look like.
10. I love that I've read over five thousand pages of this shit, but I'm too afraid to start War and Peace because of how long it is.
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